Night 1: ‘Children of the Corn’ (1984)

Another Halloween! Another opportunity to watch 31 horror movies I have never seen before.

This year, my 31 Nights of Horror Movies begins with a Stephen King adaptation: ‘Children of the Corn’. I confess I was excited about watching the movie, already savoring the King-extravaganza that would be waiting for me ahead. Unfortunately, ‘Children…’ starts with a blast, yet ultimately becomes an insipid tale that simply falls flat.

‘Children of the Corn’ tells two stories that interconnect. The first focuses on Job (Robby Kiger) and his sister Sara (Anne Marie McEvoy), who survive a massacre executed by cult leaders Isaac (John Franklin) and Malachai (Courtney Gains), which wipes out almost all the adults in their little town. The second follows Burt (Peter Horton) and Vicky (Linda Hamilton), a young couple moving into a new place, who stumble upon this town led by fanatical, bloodthirsty children, and now must find their way out.

The movie starts with a bang: showing Isaac’s minions as they poison and cut the throats of all adults in a local restaurant, as little Job watches in horror. Then, the first sign that the film won’t be all that great: a sloppy use of Job’s voiceover adds little more than expositional lines, and makes no sense given the fact that we never find out who he is telling the story to. Is it us? But why isn’t Burt talking to us as well? What’s the point of that narration?

Job, however, is one of the few redeeming features of the movie. A couple of funny interjections here and there, plus an overall childlike honesty in his delivery, make him one of the stand-outs of the bunch.

Still, it’s not enough to save the film.

‘Children…’ lacks emotional weight. The characters’ superfluous reactions to things that should be, at the very least: traumatizing, is completely baffling. The few moments of tension are dissipated quickly due to poor choices in all fronts (from casting to framing, to long sequences that lead exactly nowhere).

The heroes are bland, uninteresting, and apparently emotionless. And the villains are equally at fault.

Isaac’s first appearance is strong and intriguing. However, as the film progresses, both him and his henchman, Malechai, end up losing steam. They’re weak, shallow and kind of pathetic. What begins as dread, soon becomes little more than a deep desire to slap both of them and send them to the nearest correctional available.

Equally jarring is the amount of “children” that look well over 19, the age when they’re supposed to be sacrificed to the monster they serve. It damages the illusion of a child-led town very fast, and it makes the entire “sacrifice-on-your-19th-birthday” plot quite meaningless.

At large, ‘Children of the Corn’ presents a good and promising concept that could be developed into something actually meaningful in more capable hands.

Yet, what we are left with is a disappointing movie that wastes its chance to comment on thought-provoking subjects, such as cult mentality or the innate cruelty of children, and what could happen when those two combine. When it does make a statement, it hits you over the head –literally- with it, with no subtlety whatsoever. Then, it promptly throws it out the window by adhering to a supernatural plot that appears at the last second so the characters have something to solve hastily.

Mind you, I haven’t read the original short story yet, but whether those plot points are part of it or not, the movie on its own is definitely quite a letdown.

Grade: 4/10. Like bland, flavorless corn.

Scare Factor: a couple of jump scares –some of them effective.

Gore/violence: a lot of blood. Nothing too shocking.

Nudity/sexual situations: none.

Tomorrow: ‘The Innocents’ (1961)